


How Stupid of Me

by tornbetweentandj



Category: Andi Mack - Fandom, Tyrus - Fandom
Genre: Cleo - Freeform, Cyrus and T.J. are oblivious, Cyrus x Leo the locker boy, Kippen siblings of course, Lyrus - Freeform, M/M, Muffy if you squint, They both don't realize that the other one likes them back, Tyrus - Freeform, jealous!T.J., jealous!TJ, jealousy!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-19 01:43:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17592335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tornbetweentandj/pseuds/tornbetweentandj
Summary: After the events of Secret Society, Leo makes it known that he's interested in Cyrus. Cyrus likes T.J. even though he's pretty sure T.J. could never like him back. He's not interested in anyone else. Cyrus agrees to sit with Leo at lunch. It couldn't hurt right? He could make some new friends.Oh it hurts. But it's not Cyrus that it hurts...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I haven't posted or updated a fic in a while (Mostly because my main fic was Jyrus and I don't ship it anymore. I'm now a hardcore Tyrus stan.) I'll try to update at least once every few days. My writing skills aren't very good but I hope you like it! Feedback is encouraged!

Cyrus POV

 

It was the day after the whole fall formal fiasco. Buffy was his best friend, but the way she just said “NO.” to Walker was a little off. Then again, Buffy doesn’t like over-the-top things like that. If a guy had asked Cyrus like that, he would’ve loved it. But once again, that’s not how Buffy was. Even then though, it seemed a bit off. Why would Buffy have done that, instead of letting him down easy? Cyrus was proud of her for being confident and all, but the way she said it made him suspicious as to maybe a second reason she had rejected Walker. Cyrus shrugged it off. If something was wrong, Buffy would let him know. He was at his locker, putting his books away before 4th period, which was history. His least favorite subject. He felt it was ridiculous to learn about things that had already happened. Why did it matter? T.J. however, was a history buff. He even helped Cyrus with his history homework sometimes. 

After 4th period, he had lunch. He always sat with the GHC except if he was working on a project with a classmate and wanted to talk about it or work on it at lunch with them. He even sometimes sat with aquintances who he thought needed the extra companionship that day. He never sat with T.J. though. He wanted to. He would love to. But T.J. was always sitting with his friends and Cyrus didn’t think he’d want him to sit with him. They were pretty hardcore. And Cyrus was...well….Cyrus. If T.J. ever asked, he would sit with him, but so far, he hadn’t mentioned it. 

Cyrus closed his locker and began walking to his 4th period. He had only gotten a few steps down the hallway when he heard footsteps trying to catch up with him. Next thing he knew Leo was right beside him. 

“Hey” he was out of breath.

“Uh, hey.” Cyrus answered.

“So what was that whole secret society thing about yesterday….if you don’t mind me asking…”

 

 _Why was this guy talking to him_ , Cyrus thought. 

 

“Uh...it was actually a promposal sort of thing. My friend got asked to a fall formal.”

“Oh okay. Funny thing is….I thought you were asking me….maybe...out…” Leo said nervously.

  
  


_ That’s why. _

 

This made Cyrus stop in his tracks.

 

“Oh. yeah...no.” Cyrus laughed. “I am not capable of asking  _ anyone _ out.” 

“Oh okay cool. So um. What if I were to ask  _ you _ out?”

 

The two had now moved over to the side of the hallway to talk. They still had 5 minutes before the bell rang, and Cyrus’ class was just a few meters away. But wait. Was Leo really asking him out? Of course Cyrus knew that there had to be other LGBT students at Jefferson but it still came as a shock.

 

“Uh…” was all Cyrus could say.

“Will you at least sit with me at lunch today?” asked Leo hopefully.

Cyrus would be rude to turn him down. It was just lunch right?

“Okay, sure.” replied Cyrus.

Leo’s mood instantly got better, his face lightening up.

“Great!” Leo beamed. “That’s great! Uh...meet me at our lockers after this class?”

 

Cyrus nodded and smiled. This would be nice. Maybe he would make some new friends. And it’s not that Leo wasn’t attractive….he was. He had brunette hair and brown eyes...and a happy-go-lucky attitude. He reminded him of someone he used to like. Someone who had brown hair,  _ green  _ eyes, a happy-go-lucky attitude, and was 100%  _ straight _ . But that didn’t matter anymore. Now he liked someone different. And this person had dirty blond hair and green eyes and was possibly the most gorgeous guy he had ever seen in his entire life. But did he really even have a chance? 

Cyrus sat in his history class ticking away the seconds, then minutes. He was thinking about the “lunch date” that was about to ensue. Surely after this, Leo will let this go and Cyrus can go on pining over a guy who surely doesn’t like him back. But if TJ didn’t like him was there really a point in staying hung up on him? Should he just move on and try something with Leo? Not a chance. Cyrus didn’t think he would ever get over TJ. This crush was nothing like his crush on Jonah that he had had before. Jonah was just this guy that he had idolized and put on a high pedestal. He didn’t really like him for him. Just his looks and that fact that he was nice. I mean, it was his first crush after all. But TJ was different. Their relationship developed overtime. Cyrus actually felt something for him instead of being like a boy chasing after his favorite celebrity. TJ was special to him. And he wanted to be with him. But who knew if TJ liked him back? He seemed to be the straightest guy at Jefferson. But there were a few times where Cyrus would notice something: like a smile that felt like it meant something else, or an arm around his back,  or a quick glance that was caught when TJ thought Cyrus wasn’t looking, or just words that were said that didn’t seem like friendship kind of words-that gave Cyrus hope that maybe...just maybe...TJ could possibly like him back. The bell rang signaling the end of the class period. Cyrus grabbed his back back and went out the door. Sure enough, Leo was standing by his locker. Had he left class early? How was he already there?

 

“Hey! Are you ready?” Leo called out. 

“Yeah. Definitely.” Cyrus answered.

 

On the way to the lunchroom, not many people turned heads. But Cyrus could’ve sworn that he heard someone say “That’s weird. Isn't he usually with TJ?” They passed by the rest of the GHC who gave him an odd look. 

 

“I’m sitting with Leo today.” Cyrus said. 

“Oh….okay…” replied Buffy, the whole group looking confused. 

 

Even Jonah, the one who’s usually oblivious, looked confused. Cyrus wondered why they were so confused as to why he was eating lunch with Leo? He’s sat with other people before. Why was this different? Obviously he was sitting with a guy, but wouldn’t they have been happy for him instead of confused?

Cyrus and Leo walked into the buzzing cafeteria and got in line. Cyrus looked around and saw his friends come in. They looked at him, gave him a sort of smile, and got in the back of the line.

The boys went out of the lunch line with their trays in hand. Cyrus followed Leo over to a table that already had some people sitting at it. He recognized a few of the people from academic clubs. They were the smartest of the smart. He also recognized a few people from the soccer team. As they approached the circular table, the students there turned around to look at them.

 

“Hey everybody. This is Cyrus. He’s sitting with me today.” announced Leo with a smile.

 

The table erupted with friendly “Hey Cyrus”s. Leo pulled out a chair for Cyrus, and he sat down. Leo took the seat next to him. Throughout the first 15 minutes of lunch, Leo asked about Cyrus-his interests, what classes he was taking, about his friends. Cyrus answered all of it and Leo smiled and nodded and sometimes added commentary. Cyrus told some funny stories to Leo’s friends and they all laughed. It was all pretty normal. Until all of a sudden, Leo put his arm around Cyrus. At that moment Cyrus felt like his heart had stopped. To him, the whole cafeteria seemed to go silent. Everything seemed to stop in that split second before he heard a loud noise from behind him and then a tray crash onto the floor. 


	2. Chapter 2

T.J. POV

 

Another day, another day of struggling. Don’t get him wrong, T.J. was doing better-with school, with basketball, with his morals, with his happiness. Everything. And that was all thanks to one boy. Cyrus Goodman.  _ Cyrus Goodman _ was everything. To T.J., Cyrus Goodman was sunlight in a world of darkness. He was a rose in a field of dandelions. He was T.J.’s favorite song that he couldn’t get out of his head. He had never felt this way about anyone before. For all of his life, T.J. thought that there had to be something wrong with him. He didn’t like anyone. Just in general. Of course he had friends, but their bond wasn’t very strong. He even  _ repelled _ people. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. He just couldn’t make strong bonds with anyone. There wasn’t anyone he truly cared about. That was, until one special day. A day that T.J. would never forget. When he first met Cyrus, he got a feeling in his chest that he had never had before. It was like someone filled his chest with butterflies and sunflowers and happiness. It was like someone had grabbed his heart and wasn’t letting go. That “someone” was Cyrus. From then on, T.J. tried to do better, he tried to get closer to Cyrus. And he did. He and Cyrus were now best friends and T.J. had changed. Now he cared. He cared about Cyrus. He cared about his friends. He cared about school, and being a good person. Cyrus completely changed T.J. for the better.

So here he was, actually pulling books from his locker to bring to class. He had math 4th period and then lunch. It was no secret that T.J. struggled in math. But Cyrus was helping him with it. And he was getting better. He brought up his F to a C-which was amazing. But he had motivation. He wanted to do better. Not just for himself-but for Cyrus. He grabbed his algebra book, put it into his backpack, and turned to go to his next class. And what he saw puzzled him. At very end of the hall, he saw Cyrus, standing with some guy. The two were too far away to make out who it was. But it was a guy. This wasn’t too out of the ordinary. Cyrus was a friendly person. He had friends other than T.J.. So T.J. just continued on his way to algebra. 

The next thing he had was lunch. He was lucky enough to have the same lunch period as Cyrus, but too chicken to ask him to sit with him. Plus, T.J. usually sat with his friends. And they could be a bit….much. He didn’t want them to scare Cyrus off. He didn’t want Cyrus to think he was like them. But T.J. was no longer sitting with his friends-he hadn’t for a week. After the thing with the gun, he decided that maybe his friends weren’t the best people to be friends with. So now T.J. had no excuse not to ask Cyrus except for the fact that he was just too nervous. Sitting with Cyrus at lunch was a huge step, and he wasn’t even sure if Cyrus would  _ want  _ to sit with him. Sure they were friends, but asking someone to sit with them at lunch always meant something more. 

T.J. was pretty sure Cyrus liked boys. About 6 months ago he thought he had overheard Buffy and Andi talking about how he had a crush on Jonah. And it was obvious the way he acted around him. But that was about 3 months ago. Cyrus stopped acting that way around Jonah about a few days after he met T.J.. It became clear that whatever feelings Cyrus had for Jonah, were now gone. It crossed T.J.’s mind that maybe the reason he stopped liking Jonah, was because he got a crush on someone else-on _ him.  _ But he still didn’t know for sure if Cyrus liked him or not. He could be misreading the whole situation. But there was still that hope. That chance.

The bell rang for lunch, after what seemed like hours of staring at equations that were only halfway making sense. T.J. put his things in his backpack and headed out the door to lunch. He was always one of the first people in the lunch room since his 4th period was really close to the cafeteria. T.J. got his lunch pretty fast and sat down at his usual spot just in time to see the rest of the students come piling into the cafeteria. And in that group of students, he saw Cyrus.  _ And that guy.  _ And  _ that guy  _ wasn’t just any guy. It was Leo. Captain of the soccer team Leo. Straight A honor roll Leo.  _ Handsome _ Leo. T.J. breathed. It was probably nothing. They were probably just talking about an assignment or something. He watched as they got in line and then disappeared into the kitchen. When they emerged, trays in hand, they started to walk over towards one of the circular tables. So they were sitting together. Nothing out of the ordinary. Cyrus sat with different people sometimes. But then Leo introduced Cyrus to the other people at the table, and then  _ pulled out a chair for him _ . T.J.’s heart sank. No. Calm down. Everything’s fine. This is nothing. This means nothing. But it  _ did  _ mean something. And T.J. knew it. T.J. tried not to eavesdrop. He really did. But he couldn’t help it. He watched as the two sat down. He then tried to turn his attention toward his food, and away from them.

 

“So what kind of things are you into Cyrus” he heard Leo ask.

 

T.J. could answer that question. Cyrus liked filming, dinosaurs, and helping his friends.

And that’s exactly how Cyrus answered. Leo laughed and laid his head in his hand, staring at Cyrus. T.J. started to feel tense. He tried to control his breathing but it was hard.

 

“What classes are you taking?” he asked him. Cyrus then preceded to name all his classes and how he enjoyed or didn’t enjoy each. Then the next question was about Cyrus’ friends.

 

“So who all are your friends? I’ve seen you hang out with that artsy girl and the captains of both basketball teams, and the captain of ultimate frisbee. You should add another captain to that list.” Leo laughed.

 

T.J. let out an angry “hah” to himself and picked up his spoon to try to start eating. Trying to focus on anything but the conversation that was going on a few tables away.

 

“Yeah. Those are my best friends: Andi, Buffy, Jonah, and T.J.” Cyrus replied. Cyrus paused a little before saying T.J. which made T.J.’s heart sink even more.

 

“So, no girlfriend or boyfriend then?”

 

At those words, T.J.’s thumb started to push down on the top of the plastic spoon, bending it. His hand was shaking.

 

“Lucky me.” 

 

_ SNAP. _

 

The spoon broke in half. And so did T.J.’s heart.

 

T.J.’s mind was blurry now. He couldn’t think. So many emotions were flooding his brain at once: hurt, disappointment, anger, jealousy, heartbreak. He turned around, wiping a tear from his eye to finally look at the two boys. Just as he did, he saw Leo put his arm around Cyrus. That was it.

T.J. clambered out of his seat, hitting his legs on the table with a loud BOOM. He knocked over his tray, it and his uneaten food, crashing to the tiled floor. He ran toward the doors.

 

_ “How STUPID of me. God I’m so STUPID. Why did I ever think that I could EVER have a chance with Cyrus? Why would he want ME?  I’m dumb. I’ve never made an A. I’ve been a jerk almost my entire life. Leo’s nice to everyone, he’s SMART. I’m just T.J. Stupid, mean, T.J.”  _ T.J. thought to himself, tears now flowing from his eyes.

 

He couldn’t hear anything. Everything was silent. Maybe everyone was just in shock of his outburst-maybe he was just blocking everything out. Maybe both. But one voice he heard. It was a voice that he would recognize anywhere. It was a voice he could hear above all the silence.

 

“T.J….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading this far! This was a very emotional chapter to write. I hope you liked it! Once again, feedback is appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

Cyrus POV

 

Cyrus quickly turned around. It was T.J…. He watched him stand there for a moment, and then run toward the front doors. Why was he running away? The whole cafeteria was silent-everyone just watching in shock. Cyrus’ eyes quickly looked down at the mess that was on the floor. He knocked his tray on the ground. He was mad. Cyrus looked back up just in time to see T.J. look behind him and right into Cyrus’ eyes. He saw sadness. Something was extremely wrong. Cyrus turned to Leo. 

 

“I’m gonna….go follow him. Make sure he’s alright.”

“Okay Cyrus. Whatever you need to do.” Leo said understandably.

 

Cyrus then took off running in the direction T.J. had went. He knew exactly where he was going-the swings. That was their spot they always went to when they were feeling down. 

Cyrus went out the doors and ran across the parking lot. He had never run that fast in his life. It’s like something was pulling him. Of course it was the fact that he needed to help his friend-his crush. But there was something else. Something big was going on. He just knew it. 

On the other side of the street he saw him. Swinging. Just like he had expected. He carefully crossed the street and made his way over to the swingset. T.J. was looking down, not looking up with the sound of footsteps making their way across the mulch. 

Cyrus stood in front of him.

 

“T.J…” he said softly.

 

It was then that T.J. looked up. His eyes were red and puffy, and there was a stray tear that on his cheek.

 

“What.” said T.J., his voice hoarse.

“What’s wrong?” Cyrus asked.

 

T.J.’s face face became almost angry.

 

“It doesn’t matter.” he spat out, his chest burning with heartache and strain from crying.

“Mind if I swing then?” Cyrus asked. He knew that T.J. probably just needed some time to calm down. When he was ready, he’d tell him what’s wrong. 

 

T.J. laughed. It was the same laugh as earlier. Angry and sarcastic. Cyrus sat down on the swing next to him and began swinging, as did T.J. They stayed like that for a few minutes, just swinging and breathing and trying to figure out just what was going on, before T.J. stopped and broke the silence.

 

“Before I met you, I was filled with bitterness and hate.” He paused to see if Cyrus was listening. When he realized he was, he continued. “I had no real friends. No one that I really cared for anyway. I was just going through the motions, struggling through life. I just….didn’t care….But when I first saw you, my whole world turned upside down. We became friends. You were my first true friend. One that I really cared about. You were changing me for the better. You made me happy-something I haven’t been for a long time. But then…..” T.J. paused. Trying to get the courage to continue. Cyrus had stopped swinging, now looking right at T.J.. “I started to feel something else. I always wanted to be around you. I wanted to talk to you or be with you any chance I could. I would look forward to seeing you every day, and would be sad the days I wasn’t able to see you. I wanted to ask you how your day had been at the end of every day. I wanted to do anything to make you smile and laugh.” T.J.’s voice started to shake. “I wanted hold your hand, go on dates with you…..I wanted to kiss you. I had caught feelings for you Cyrus. And I wanted to believe that there was some chance that you could like me back, and I thought maybe there was. But then I saw you with Leo and it broke my heart…. And then….he put his arm around you, and I couldn’t take it anymore.  _ I  _ wanted to be doing that Cyrus! Me! But I should’ve known better. I’m stupid and mean and worthless. How could you EVER like me.” T.J. was crying steady tears now. Something he only did in the privacy of his own room. But now, he couldn’t help the tears that were flowing.

 

Cyrus sat there for a moment, not knowing what to say. He was too in shock.

 

“T.J…..I…..” Cyrus started. 

“No. Stop. I don’t want to hear how you’re “sorry” and that “we can still be friends”.” T.J. hissed. 

 

There was another moment of silence before Cyrus decided to continue. 

 

“I…..feel the same way…..” Cyrus said, his voice quieter now. T.J. looked up, shocked. And regretful that he had snapped at Cyrus. 

 

“When I first saw you, you were this mean jock guy. An enemy of my best friend. So obviously, I hated you at first. Even though you were extremely attractive.” Cyrus laughed. He thought he saw the corner of T.J.’s mouth turn up a little. “But then I got to know you, and you changed. You became nicer. You helped me to break out of my shell, and be confident. And then I realized that I wanted to be around you all the time too. I wanted you to hold my hand and kiss me and take me out on dates. I had never felt this way before. I had gotten a crush on you. And it wasn’t an ordinary crush-one that goes away with time. It was something real. I didn’t think there was any chance that you could like me back so I never said anything. About Leo….I’m not interested in him. He asked me to sit with him at lunch, and I didn’t want to be rude, so I said yes. I thought that maybe I could make a new friend. But then he put his arm around me, and it shocked me, so I froze. I didn’t want him to do that. I wanted  _ you _ to. I like you T.J.. A lot…..”

 

T.J.’s tears of heartbreak had now changed to happiness. He laughed. 

 

“Chocolate chocolate chip muffin right?” T.J. said, smiling, looking into Cyrus’ eyes.

 

Cyrus laughed, his eyes now starting to fill with tears.

 

“Scary basketball guy.”

 

T.J. reached over and intertwined their fingers, the boys now moving in unison. They stayed like that for a while, taking in everything that had happened, and just enjoying being with each other. 

 

“We should probably head inside.” said T.J.

 

“Oh yeah.” Cyrus laughed. 

 

“Come on muffin” T.J. said, standing up and grabbing Cyrus hand again, not wanting to let go. “Let’s go inside.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry it took a few days to update! There's still going to be at least 1 more chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning! T.J.'s mom accidentally finds out he's gay in this chapter.

The boys made there way back to the school. As they were coming up on cafeteria doors, they saw Dr. Metcalf standing right outside the door-his arms crossed and an angry expression plastered on his face. But at the sight of the two boys holding hands, his face noticably softened. He still had a stern look, but it was no where near as angry and worrying as it was. T.J. and Cyrus cautiously walked towards him, letting go of each other’s hands.

 

“I need to see both of you in my office. Now.” he said sternly.

 

Both T.J. and Cyrus knew something like this was going to happen. They followed behind Metcalf back inside the cafeteria. The other students were getting ready to leave-noise being made from the chattering and the cleaning up and throwing away of their lunches. But all noise ceased when the boys and Metcalf walked in. Metcalf looked over the students and cleared his throat, telling the other students to carry on. T.J. and Cyrus looked at each other for a brief moment, seeing the worry in each others eyes, and continued on out the doors and down the hallway to Metcalf’s office.

 

Cyrus had no idea what was going to happen. He knew they were going to get in some sort of trouble but he didn’t know to what degree. Was he going to call his parents? Wait. Was he going to get outed to his parents? He wasn’t out to them yet. Cyrus started to panic.

T.J. saw the look on Cyrus’ face. He looked like he had seen a ghost. His face was white, panic painted across it.

“Cyrus. Everything is going to be okay.”

“My parents don’t know yet…” Cyrus said. His face unchanging.

T.J. understood. Cyrus wasn’t out to his parents yet. T.J. was out to his parents. Well. His parents had found out….and they were fine with it. His parents had always been very accepting people. But still, the thought of that day….made him panic.

Because of his family problems recently, his parents suggested he go see a therapist. They had suggested the same thing for his sister. T.J. had decided to go, and on the first day the therapist had suggested that he start writing in a journal. After some debate with himself, he decided that it was worth a try. He usually wrote about his day, how he felt, what was going on with his family, his problems with his learning disability, and _Cyrus_ . Most people would think he would be writing about his struggle to accept himself or his worries he had with being captain of the basketball team and _gay_ , but he didn’t. He didn’t worry about that. He had always been okay with the fact that he was gay. When he had realized it, it was no big deal to him. He was one of the lucky ones. He just decided that he wouldn’t go around announing it-he wasn’t that type of person. And if anyone on the basketball team found out, they wouldn’t dare give him issues. So he only wrote about his problems, his day, and Cyrus. And his journal was something he liked to keep private-whenever he finished writing in it, he’d quietly put it in the back of his sock drawer. However, a month ago was one day that he had _not_ done that.

He was on his bed. He had been done trying to do his algebra homework and was writing in his journal to relieve some stress-plus he had something knew he wanted to write about. Earlier that day he had met the cutest boy he had ever seen- _Cyrus_. He couldn’t stop writing his name. _Cyrus_.

 

 

 

> "Journal:
> 
> Today was the typical day for me- struggle with algebra, breeze through history and my other classes, get annoyed and mess with Buffy, basketball practice, and then walk home. Except something happened….I met someone…..his name is Cyrus….
> 
> I had went to the cafeteria for breakfast before my first class, and to talk to Buffy. She had to tutor me. I had no other choice. I told her that she had to tutor me and I thought we had a deal but she said no. She said that she wanted me to get her friend  _Cyrus_ a chocolate chocolate chip muffin. That’s when I saw him. His face was radiant like the sun. The light from the windows hit his face and highlighted his freckles that were peppered across his cheeks. His chocolate puppy dog eyes were ones that you would get lost in if you stared for too long. And I did. It took everything in me to look away. I couldn’t let Cyrus know that I found him attractive. That’s when I said something to Cyrus that I now deeply regret. I asked him “you can’t get your own muffin” and I kind of laughed too! Ugh. Why did I do that? I should’ve just owned up to being mesmerized by him. But leave it to me to see a cute boy and have all my logic go out the window-"

 

That’s when he heard it. His sister crying. This happened at least once a week. Their family troubles would sometimes get to be too much for her and she’d break down. T.J. was always right there for her. He laid down his pen, and rushed out his bedroom door, not shutting his journal. He had managed to calm her down and they were just talking.

 

“Um....T.J.?” It was his mom. She must have just gotten home from work and come to check on him in his room.

 

_Oh no._

 

T.J. hesitantly walked into his room. His mom was on his bed, staring down at the open journal.

 

“I’m so sorry sweety! I didn’t mean to read it. I was looking for you and it was open and I kind of just saw it.” his mom said, her voice on the verge of breaking. T.J. could see that her

eyes were starting to have tears. “I love you so much. And nothing will ever change that.”    

 

“Thanks mom…” T.J. said, tears starting to form in his eyes as well. He ran over to his mom, who embraced him in a hug. After they stayed there for a moment, his mother asked,

“So who’s Cyrus?”

 

T.J. was no longer feeling anxious. He was no smiling because of the memory of hus mother being so supportive. But then the anxiety came back. Because Cyrus’ parents may not be like that. They may not be so accepting. And that terrified T.J.. He didn’t want Cyrus to go through that. He looked back over to Cyrus, and then grabbed his hand, giving it a slight squeeze-telling him that everything was going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to update! I've had a lot going on. I hope you enjoy this chapter :)


	5. Chapter 5

They followed Metcalf into his office. It was a big office with two armchairs facing his desk. The walls were painted a beige color-not very welcoming. To Cyrus, it felt like those beige walls were closing in on him.

“Sit.” Metcalf gestured towards the chairs.

T.J. and Cyrus sat down, once again letting go of each others hands. Metcalf crossed his arms and looked at the two boys.

“So.” he paused. “What’s going on.”

Neither T.J. or Cyrus said anything for a moment. Metcalf raised his eyebrows, signaling for them to spill it.

T.J. was the first to speak-or blurt, out a response. “Don’t blame Cyrus for this! It was all me. I got upset….and” Metcalf was picking up his phone, about to call their parents.

“Please, _please_ don’t call my parents….they don’t….” Cyrus cried out.

“They don’t what?” Metcalf said, confused.

“You...won’t understand…” said Cyrus as he looked down at the floor. The carpet of the office was a lot similar to the carpet in his parents’ offices. It made him feel that he was in that room-talking to them. And it made it even harder to say what he needed to. There had been many times before, during his weekly sessions with one of his parents, that he wanted to just yell it out-”I’m gay!”. He so badly wanted to tell them. But at the same time, he didn’t. Just as he felt he had the confidence to do it, his throat would tighten and no words would come out, his confidence shrinking to nothing.

 

Realization hit Metcalf and his face softened.

“I will.”

“No….I don’t think you will.” said Cyrus again.

“Cyrus, I will. Trust me.” Dr. Metcalf then gestured toward a picture frame on his desk. And inside that frame was a picture of Dr. Metcalf and another man, both in suits holding hands facing each other-huge smiles on their faces.

 

A wedding photo.

 

“Oh.” Cyrus smiled. “They...don’t know I’m gay.”

Dr. Metcalf thought for a moment. “I won’t call your parents...but I still need to know what happened.”

 

T.J. turned to Cyrus, giving him a slight smile. “I’ll tell him.”

“I...like Cyrus….and I didn’t think he liked me back. I had seen him with another guy at lunch and I let my emotions get the best of me. I ran out of the cafeteria. And Cyrus, concerned, ran after me to see if I was alright. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have run off. I was just overwhelmed with emotions and felt like I couldn’t be there anymore.”

“Yes. Your outburst was uncalled for. You have a right to feel jealous, that’s human nature. But you can control your actions. Now. I won’t write you two up, but this of course is a warning. T.J.-you need to try to manage your emotions better. Like I said, being upset is acceptable, but throwing a tray onto the floor and making a scene in the cafeteria is unacceptable. Now Cyrus, it was very nice of you to go and try to comfort T.J.. You’re a good student so I know that you wouldn’t do things like that unless you felt it necessary. I won’t call either of your parents, just make sure something like this doesn’t happen again. And by the way, I am always here if either of you need anything. I know being gay in public school can be a hard thing. If you need to talk to someone who understands, my door is always open.”

Cyrus and T.J. both relaxed. They were surprisingly fine. And they now knew that they had someone they could talk to if they needed it.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

They walked out of his office and headed down the hall.

“What class do you have next?” asked T.J.

“Bio. You?”

“Chem.” laughed T.J. “My least favorite science. It involves a lot of math.”

“You’ll do great.” Cyrus reassured.

“Hey do you...wanna meet up after your last class?” asked T.J. nervously.

“Sure. Your locker?”

“Yeah.”

 

They were at Cyrus’ class.

“I’ll...see you later then…” said T.J.

Cyrus smiled up at T.J.. He didn’t want to go to class. He wanted to talk to T.J.-he still had so many questions. Like, _what are they?_

“Bye” was all he said.

T.J. leaned in and hugged Cyrus, wrapping his arms around him. Cyrus’ heart began to thump rapidly. _BADUMP-BADUMP-BADUMP-BADUMP._ Cyrus’ eyes widened. His heart hadn’t done that in a long time. Not since Jonah…. Even with Jonah, it had never beat that fast. When the boys pulled away, Cyrus had a blush painted across his face. He felt like things were going to be different.

T.J. left for his class, and Cyrus walked inside his. All eyes were on him. He even saw some of the students glance out the door. They had seen them hug. Cyrus surveyed the room. Most students gave him sympathetic smiles and some were confused. He was surprised that there weren’t looks of disgust. That could be due to the fact that what had happened could’ve been interpreted as non-romantic. Little did Cyrus know, it _was_ interpreted as romantic. The whole school practically knew about T.J’s huge crush on Cyrus. No one would dare give Cyrus, T.J.’s whole world, any problems.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

T.J.’s next class was English. He loved English almost as much as history. Believe it or not, he loved to read. His favorite genres were nonfiction and romances. He loved reading books about history.

If people only went off of his grade in math, they would think he made Fs in his other classes as well. But he had As in every one of his other classes (besides Chemistry which he had a high C in). He was good at school. Just not the math part.

He walked into his English class, and, like Cyrus’ class, all eyes were on him. Everyone mostly just looked scared or confused. They were wondering why he had had that sudden outburst. However, T.J. swore he heard one of the guys in the back snicker. He looked over and sure enough, one of the guys from the soccer team had a grin on his face. T.J. gave him a stern look and the guy quickly looked down. See? T.J. didn’t have much to worry about when it came to people giving him a hard time because of his sexuality. People were too afraid of him to bother him about it. He was one of those gays who was very “straight passing”. God, T.J. hated those words. He hated how there were stereotypes for how people thought gay men should be like. Just because he didn’t fit the stereotype, he got to have it easier. But then there was Cyrus-who wasn’t like T.J.. T.J. knew it made him an easier target. But he knew that those guys wouldn’t try anything with him around. No would would hurt his Cyrus.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When Cyrus left his last class, he saw T.J. standing by his locker. When T.J. spotted him, he smiled the biggest grin.

“Do you want to go to The Spoon?” asked T.J.

“Like a date?” Cyrus questioned.

“Yeah.” replied T.J. with a smirk.”A date.”

“Okay. Yeah. I’d love to.” Cyrus stuttered, a blush returning to his face.

The boys got their things to take home, and then walked hand in hand out the front double doors.

Cyrus and T.J. knew that there were more things that they would have to face: Cyrus coming out to his parents, dealing with everyone in school knowing, and telling their friends. They would get to that. But right now, they just wanted to enjoy being with each other. The calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you want me to write more, let me know, but I decided to end it here :)


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